5 Ways to Encourage a Friend This Week

Encouragement fails mostly for practical reasons. We mean to, we intend to, and then Thursday arrives and nothing was said.

Psalm 107:1 gives thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his loving kindness endures forever. Endures is the quality worth passing on. Encouragement lands best when it points at something steadier than the week your friend is having. Five things follow that can each be done in under ten minutes, which is the only kind of plan that survives a normal week.

One: Send the Specific Text

Not thinking of you. Name the thing. I know Wednesday is the appointment, and I will be praying at ten.

Specific tells a person you have been carrying the details of their life, which is the actual message underneath any encouragement.

General warmth is pleasant. Specific warmth is evidence.

Send it in the morning if you can. Encouragement at eight is carried through the day. The same words at eleven at night arrive after the hard part is over.

Two: Replace the Offer With an Action

Let me know if you need anything puts the work on the person least able to do it. Almost nobody calls in that offer.

Say instead that you are bringing dinner on Tuesday, and ask only whether six or seven is better.

A decided kindness with one small question attached is far easier to accept than an open door.

Keep the delivery brief. Handing over a dish at the door and leaving is a kindness in itself when someone has no capacity for a visit.

Three: Tell Them What You See in Them

Most people have never been told plainly what others admire about them, and almost everyone is quietly unsure.

Say one true thing, in a sentence, without softening it into a joke. You are the steadiest person I know in a crisis.

It will be remembered for years, which is a remarkable return on twelve words.

Four: Pray Right Then, Where They Can Hear

If you are together, pray in the moment rather than promising to later. Thirty seconds, out loud, plain words.

Later is where most promised prayers go to be forgotten. Now is short and it is real.

If you are texting, write the prayer out and send it as a message. It has the same effect.

Keep it short and avoid fixing anything inside it. A prayer that turns into advice with your eyes closed is not a comfort, and people can always tell.

Five: Follow Up on the Old Thing

Ask about the situation from six weeks ago that everyone else has stopped asking about.

Hard things outlast the attention around them, and the loneliest stretch is usually after the casseroles stop.

Galatians 6:9 says not to be weary in doing good, and this is what that looks like in a friendship.

Pick a Name and Send It Now

Someone came to mind while you were reading. That is who this is for.

Send the specific text before you close this page, because a week from now the impulse will be gone and the person will not know it ever existed.

It costs almost nothing and it is almost always remembered. Very few things you do this week will have that ratio.